There was a time when I was lying on my bed, waiting for the lights to go out of my eyes. After a few minutes, I realized that my eyes are still wide open. I couldn’t sleep peacefully. I just confused and frustrated at that moment. There is so much thought in my mind.
My room was probably the most comfortable place in my life. There’s no distraction and anxiety coming from it. It was full of silence (ask some introverts who like to stay in their room :)), then I realized it was too silent. No voice and life. There are only isolation and the voice of guilt coming to my head. Have you ever felt those moments? The moments where you have to face yourself, with no one watching and observing you.
We were afraid to face ourselves and sit in our silence. If we look into Jesus, he has his own selfish desires in his moment of silence. Do you remember when he was tempted in the desert? Do you remember when he was praying in the garden of Gethsemane? Could you imagine how it feels to be God and human at the same time? The highest authority from heaven came down to earth to become human, just like us. Absorbing the same fears, doubts, and shame. That is not like God at all. It’s too fiction.
If you look into the book of Psalms, in Psalms 23, the author wrote about God who prepares us a table in the front of our enemies.
Imagine if you were standing in the middle of green pastures, then there’s a battlefield. Can you imagine Jesus prepares a feast for you beside the river so that you can eat with him? That’s weird and kinda insane.
The author of Psalms has a weird imagination of illustrating God. Who would accept a feast in the middle of the struggles and painful days? No one. But God invites us to have a feast, to have intimacy with him. Jesus knows how powerful the table is. When we eat at the table, there’s a moment where we can have an enjoyable conversation. There’s a joy, smile, love, connection, and intimacy.
When was the last time you eat with your family, friends, or spouse at the table? When did the last time you interact with others and not being cold to the people around you?
We were just too busy with ourselves. We were looking down to our phone. We put our headphones to our ears and listening to our music. We dehumanize ourselves. We disconnected ourselves from the world. We become more and more ignorant. We are losing our humanity.
Imagine if Jesus didn’t come to the Samaritan woman back on that day. Imagine if He was ignorant at that time. Imagine if He doesn’t care. He probably didn’t become a perfect representative of God. True love doesn’t parade itself. Everyone is included in the love of God, even when we are rejecting him. When we were in our darkest days, God is still with us. He wants us to have intimacy with him. He wants us to have a feast. He wants us to drink from him. He’s too perfect, too fierce. That’s why it called Agape, which means unconditional love. He is love when we are not. Be grateful. Be joyful. Experience it.